After my husband suddenly died following a heart attack, the first thing I had to do was tell my children, they were nine and five at the time. But learning how to talk to my children about death didn’t end here. Talking to children about bereavement is an ongoing process that I’m still working through. However, through this experience, as well as through becoming one of the UK’s first bereavement coaches, I’ve learnt so much about how to help children understand bereavement. So, if you’re wondering how to talk to children about death, here’s some of my best advice.

BE FACTUAL

Coming from a midwifery and nursing background, I know that when giving people bad news you’re supposed to be factual. Don’t fluff things up and use terms like ‘passed away’ or ‘gone to sleep’. However, when it came to telling my own children their dad had died I instinctively wanted to protect them and soften the news. Although in reality I knew that there was no way of doing this.

Nothing prepares you for th...

Christmas is a magical time of the year, people are jolly, there’s parties every weekend and everything looks so pretty! This is great if things in life are going well for you but, if you’re widowed and grieving the loss of a life partner, it can feel like the most awful time of the year. So, I thought I’d write a few little ideas to help you make this season feel a little more manageable after losing a loved one.

1. AVOID COMPARISONS

Christmas after losing a loved one feels daunting. You have no energy or enthusiasm, and the fact that everyone else appears to be having the time of their lives makes you feel so alone, envious and generally pretty rubbish.

However, the first piece of advice I would give is to stop comparing. Of course, on the surface it may seem like everyone is having the most romantic, magical Christmas ever. The photos on social media are filled with smiling faces and pretty lights, couples are walking around holding hands and the world feels full of love, hope an...

In this article we will discuss why change is so challenging and how to overcome the barriers holding us back from sustainable change. Whether it is forced upon us or we decide to make it for ourselves we often battle with the thoughts and processes involved in changing lifestyles and habits.

There are a million reasons as to why we don’t take that first step towards change and they are all understandable, but honestly, they’re just excuses, they’re the stories we tell ourselves to justify not doing something.

#1 NEGATIVE BIAS?

Before we start it’s important to understand that our brains have a negative bias, negative events have more of an impact on us than positive ones and this can have a powerful effect on your behaviour, decisions and relationships.

We have a natural tendency to develop a victim mindset, we remember traumatic experiences more than positive ones, think about negative things more often than positive and we respond more strongly to negative events.

As humans we ...

I have had many conversations around the question 'Does grief last forever?' recently, It’s a big question, and I want to take this opportunity to explore how long grief lasts within my own story.

What does grief mean and how long can it last?

Is there an end point?

Does it disappear?

Do we reach a place where we are no longer grieving?

Can we grieve without suffering?

Definition of Grief

The definition of grief in Collins Dictionary is ‘a feeling of extreme sadness’. The Cambridge English Dictionary define it as ‘very great sadness, especially at the death of someone’.

These definitions could suggest that once the extreme sadness has passed you are no longer grieving. But, do we ever stop feeling extremely sad when we have lost someone we love? Especially if they have been taken too soon!

I have posted about this topic on my social media (give me a follow in Instagram), and have had mixed responses, understandably. Grief leaves us feeling bereft and exhausted in the early day...

There is no worse feeling in the world than your loved one being taken away from you, it’s crippling and has many ramifications. No little thing that can help soothe the ache of loneliness and nobody can fill the huge void that person has left behind.

The sheer exhaustion we get when grieving can cause us to back away and retreat into our own little world of grief. I have done it, and I still do sometimes, I just want to be left alone to deal with things in my own way. However, this isn’t always helpful to us and we need to be aware of our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Once we are aware of these things, we can start to notice whether or not something is aiding our healing, or hindering it.

Who we choose to spend our time with can either help us feel less lonely, or result in us feeling lonelier. Throughout this blog I will talk about some of the ways you can help yourself feel a little better and to help you on your grieving journey.

The start of your grieving journey

In the e...

Finding love after loss is not easy. When you’re grieving your partner, it is hard opening your heart to the possibility of love.

But you are allowed to feel happiness after grief. It doesn’t in any way diminish the love you have for your loved one. That will never die. Being a widow myself, I didn’t want to find someone to replace Simon. I wanted to find love again and it to bring new meaning to my life.

In this blog I want to help you understand that through grieving you can find love again. It’s not easy, it comes with emotions, fear and often guilt. But I want to help you understand that as much as it isn’t easy, it’s worth it.

How do you know what the right thing to do is?

Losing intimacy, support, understanding and partnership leaves a gaping hole in our lives. To begin with we try to fill the void. We search for fulfilment any way we can, eating, drinking, dating or working.

You will go on a grieving journey, which I discussed in my last blog and mistakes will be made. Yo...