On Sunday 11th September 2016 our world fell apart. I lost my husband, and my children lost their dad. Simon was a strong, witty, loyal man full of integrity. He was a wonderful father, husband, son, brother and friend.
The shock and devastation left us in complete turmoil. I didn’t know how life would continue – or even if I wanted it to sometimes. It just felt too hard and utterly impossible. Through all of this I had to try and comprehend what had happened, figure out how best to support my grieving children and to get up every morning and face a life I hadn’t planned nor wanted. There was suddenly a gaping hole in my life. The pain, the sadness and the despair were overwhelming, physically and emotionally. I was scared, vulnerable and also lonely.
Our new normal
Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day we kept going, rebuilding our new lives as a three. We laughed and we cried. We fought and we loved. I felt invincible one minute and then on my knees the next. Grief is a rollercoaster ride, and it is exhausting.
However, from the minute Simon died, I made a vow that this would not define mine or my childrens’ lives in a negative way forever. We were not going to be victims. It was now my job to make sure that we weren’t just okay, but that we were able to flourish.
I needed help
I initially had counselling to help me make sense of my emotions, but I found I needed something more, something different – something to help me move forward with my life. So, I signed up with a life coach. This was the best decision I ever made. I worked on my mindset, values, gratitude, stress, diet, exercise, sleep…….. the list goes on. I’ve had to learn not to quit when things get tough, to develop a ‘can do’ attitude, to worry less about what others think of me and to not fight the inevitable change to my life that I feared so much.
I was holding myself back in so many ways. Ultimately, I’ve gained clarity, purpose and a love of life again. I still miss Simon like nothing else on earth, but i’ve built a life around his loss. I know that the hurt will never go away, but that it’s now a part of me and my new life – and that’s ok. Since then, I’ve learned so much about myself and I’ve realised I’m capable of so much more than I dreamed possible.
Now, a few years down the line, I have trained as a grief and loss coach, and am the UK's first widow coach.
My passion and mission
It is now my passion to help other widows find their new way, gain clarity, overcome fears, build confidence and to create a life they desire. I want to help widows see that even though they have been through hell, they have it within them to move forward in a positive way, identifying and fulfilling their ambitions.
It all just starts with a decision!
The Widow Coach
"A Certified Grief Educator is committed to providing the highest level of grief support through education, experience, and insights into the often unacknowledged rocky terrain of grief.
Certified Grief Educators completed a certificate program designed by world-renowned grief expert, David Kessler. They bring his unique methodology, tools, and decades of experience to help people navigate the challenges of grief."