When we lose a life partner, there are so many secondary losses we are forced to come to terms with such as financial stability, our sense of purpose and changes to our lifestyle. However, there’s one loss that is rarely spoken about, one that we find so hard to talk about openly and honestly: the loss of sexual intimacy, also known as sexual bereavement.

As human beings we are biologically wired to crave connection to others, both emotional and physical. When we are in a loving relationship, we experience that connection in many forms: being touched, hugged, kissed, caressed or sexually fulfilled. It becomes part of our everyday lives and is something we often take for granted. And so, when we lose our loved one, we are left with this unspeakable void. Whilst our partner is gone, we are still here, living, breathing and desiring human affection and yet our wants and needs are suddenly no longer being tended to.

This blog will explore the subject of sexual bereavement in widowhood. I...

 For most people, the prospect of dating - of seeking a life partner - is one filled with anticipation, excitement and promise. However, dating following the loss of a partner can prove far more complex. This blog will address some of the most commonly asked questions on this topic and suggest that although re-entering the dating world can be fraught with challenges, if you are prepared to navigate these challenges consciously and honestly, you’ll open yourself up to a world of exciting new possibilities.

# 1 When should I start dating?

One of the questions I’m often asked is, ‘when is the right time to start dating again?’ And my answer: I don’t believe there is one. I have met some people who have been out and met someone within weeks or months of their person dying. Others can take years to grow comfortable with the idea of dating someone else and then there are some who vow never to meet anyone again. It’s all very individual. What is right for one person won’t be right for anoth...

When we lose a loved one, dealing with their possessions can be one of the hardest parts of our grieving journey. As we begin to grapple with the notion of a life without them, knowing whether, when and how to part with their belongings can compound our grief and leave us feeling even more confused and upset.

Whether you’ve experienced a sudden loss, like I did, where my husband Simon was here for breakfast and gone by lunchtime or whether you’ve lost your loved one following a prolonged illness and you’ve had some time to discuss what to do with their belongings, knowing what to do and when to do it is still incredibly hard. 

Our person has gone, they have physically left our world and yet, there is so much around our homes that reminds us of them and connects us to them – their shoes by the front door, their clothes in the wardrobe, their slippers by the bed, even their toothbrush in the bathroom. Every corner of our house is filled with constant reminders of their presence and th...

Many people have asked me what grief coaching is and how it can help those struggling with loss. I myself had these questions when I entered the world of coaching. But before we delve a little deeper into just what it is, here’s what it isn’t: grief coaching isn’t counselling or therapy. I am not a trained counsellor nor am I a qualified therapist. I cannot help you navigate your way through deeply rooted trauma or severe mental ill health. 

However, what I can do is help you through your grieving process. I can provide a combination of emotional and practical support when one of the most unimaginably devastating things you could ever face, actually happens. I can help you to work out where you are right now, where you want to be and identify the practical steps you can take to get there. I won’t tell you what to do, I won’t patronise you and although we will talk about what has happened, I won’t encourage you to dwell on the past – for grief coaching is ultimately about helping you t...

After my husband suddenly died following a heart attack, the first thing I had to do was tell my children, they were nine and five at the time. But learning how to talk to my children about death didn’t end here. Talking to children about bereavement is an ongoing process that I’m still working through. However, through this experience, as well as through becoming one of the UK’s first bereavement coaches, I’ve learnt so much about how to help children understand bereavement. So, if you’re wondering how to talk to children about death, here’s some of my best advice.

BE FACTUAL

Coming from a midwifery and nursing background, I know that when giving people bad news you’re supposed to be factual. Don’t fluff things up and use terms like ‘passed away’ or ‘gone to sleep’. However, when it came to telling my own children their dad had died I instinctively wanted to protect them and soften the news. Although in reality I knew that there was no way of doing this.

Nothing prepares you for th...

Christmas is a magical time of the year, people are jolly, there’s parties every weekend and everything looks so pretty! This is great if things in life are going well for you but, if you’re widowed and grieving the loss of a life partner, it can feel like the most awful time of the year. So, I thought I’d write a few little ideas to help you make this season feel a little more manageable after losing a loved one.

1. AVOID COMPARISONS

Christmas after losing a loved one feels daunting. You have no energy or enthusiasm, and the fact that everyone else appears to be having the time of their lives makes you feel so alone, envious and generally pretty rubbish.

However, the first piece of advice I would give is to stop comparing. Of course, on the surface it may seem like everyone is having the most romantic, magical Christmas ever. The photos on social media are filled with smiling faces and pretty lights, couples are walking around holding hands and the world feels full of love, hope an...

Finding love after loss is not easy. When you’re grieving your partner, it is hard opening your heart to the possibility of love.

But you are allowed to feel happiness after grief. It doesn’t in any way diminish the love you have for your loved one. That will never die. Being a widow myself, I didn’t want to find someone to replace Simon. I wanted to find love again and it to bring new meaning to my life.

In this blog I want to help you understand that through grieving you can find love again. It’s not easy, it comes with emotions, fear and often guilt. But I want to help you understand that as much as it isn’t easy, it’s worth it.

How do you know what the right thing to do is?

Losing intimacy, support, understanding and partnership leaves a gaping hole in our lives. To begin with we try to fill the void. We search for fulfilment any way we can, eating, drinking, dating or working.

You will go on a grieving journey, which I discussed in my last blog and mistakes will be made. Yo...