In September 2016 I lost my husband, Simon. And, over the past nearly 10 years, as I have grappled with this hugely traumatic event, I have come to realise how much we can learn from the seasons - how much they teach us about our grief journey and ourselves. And none more so than spring - a time when the earth awakens from its wintry slumber, nature comes back to life and the world around us transforms. It has become a hugely meaningful and symbolic time for me. 

In this blog, I want to consider how spring can act as a powerful catalyst for widows - encouraging us to explore ideas of personal growth, renewal and new beginnings, and think about how we can support ourselves through our grief. Although our grief can feel challenging during the springtime, it offers us an invaluable opportunity for post-traumatic growth, a chance to reframe our grief, look forward and consider what we want from our future and how we might achieve it.

Winter - a metaphor for our grief

Winter is a powerfu...

As the world celebrates the courage, progress and resilience of women this International Women’s Day, I find myself reflecting on the bravery and inner strength of millions of widows across the globe. Women, who rise every day, dig deep and set foot into a world they barely recognise - a world that cruelly strips them of their confidence, their identity and their purpose.

Part of my role as a widow coach is to support widows to reclaim their future, to think about a life beyond their loss, rediscover their sense of purpose and gain clarity on how they wish to show up in the world.

In this blog, I want to begin by looking at how widowhood triggers an identity crisis and a significant loss of purpose and confidence. I’ll then move on to consider how this loss can in time present us with an opportunity to explore new beginnings. 

One of the things I have come to realise following the passing of my husband almost 10 years ago, is that as painful and soul-destroying as grief is, this she...

What is grief exhaustion?

Unlike normal tiredness that often disappears with sufficient rest and adequate sleep, grief exhaustion is a far more intense and pervasive fatigue. Following the loss of a spouse, our entire world is up-ended and we’re thrust into a deeply painful and unfamiliar existence. As we grapple with all that is thrown at us, our body and mind can often feel under constant attack, leaving us feeling empty and hollowed out. And, with zero time to recover, we can enter into a state of burn out, which no amount of sleep or rest can fix.

How does grief exhaustion show up?

Grief exhaustion can manifest in several different ways - physically, mentally and socially. Whether we experience a range of these symptoms, or just a handful, they can nonetheless feel incredibly overwhelming. 

Physically

Grief exhaustion can decimate our physical health, leaving us weakened, depleted and unwell. It is often characterised by an intense and unrelenting fatigue and loss of energy...

What is ‘widow brain’?
 

Following the loss of a spouse, we’re plunged into a world of chaos and intense, unyielding pain. Our grief envelopes us and we’re swamped by a mixture of feelings: sadness, anger, guilt and confusion, to name just a few. Alongside this emotional upheaval, many widows have also reported experiencing a range of short-term cognitive challenges including difficulty concentrating, slow or poor decision-making, memory deficits, exhaustion and a general mental cloudiness. 

Such a loss of cognitive function has come to be known as ‘widow brain’ or ‘widow fog’. Whilst not a medical diagnosis, it is a credible and widely recognised set of cognitive challenges that can accompany the trauma of grief. Widow brain can feel utterly devastating. Adding to the emotional turmoil and physical toll that grief takes on us, the sudden and often unexpected decline in our cognitive abilities can feel like a cruel sucker-punch. This blog will explore how widow brain shows up, the sci...