Mary-Frances O’Connor: Grief Is Not Something to Be Overcome

In this week’s episode, I’m joined by Mary-Frances O’Connor, neuroscientist, psychologist, and author of The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body.

Mary-Frances has spent her career researching what happens to our minds and bodies when we lose someone we love. Her work helps us understand why grief feels the way it does, how our brains adapt, and why love and loss are so deeply intertwined.

This conversation is full of insight, science, and compassion. We explore what happens in the brain during grief, why waves of grief come and go, and how we can continue our bond with those who have died. Mary-Frances also shares why resilience is the most common response to loss, and why grief is less about “moving on” and more about learning to live with love in a different way.

In this episode we talk about:

•  Why grieving is best understood as a form of learning
•  How the brain and body adjust when someone we love dies
•  The difference between grief (in the moment) and grieving (the ongoing process)
•  Why the second year of grief can sometimes feel harder than the first
•  The importance of internal bonds and how they continue after physical loss
•  What research shows about resilience, prolonged grief, and healing
•  How grief journeys differ with sudden loss compared to after long-term caregiving
•  Practical ways we can support ourselves, and each other, through grief

Explore Mary-Frances O’Connor’s books: 

The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'Connor | Waterstones

The Grieving Body by Mary-Frances O'Connor | Waterstones

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Mary-Frances O’Connor – Photo credit: Eric Godoy