When you are going through a bereavement, especially the loss of a spouse, finding the right kind of support can be really challenging.
Our world fell apart when my husband, Simon, died. I was bereft and could see no way forward. I had two girls, who were nine and five at the time, and I had to navigate all three of us through this part of our life we had not planned nor wanted. It was devastating and I had no idea how I was ever going to get through it. I was scared, lost and vulnerable. However, with a lot of soul-searching and hard work, I did. I now have hope and happiness in my life again. My children and I are thriving and we have found new meaning in life. Meaning Simon has given to us, in his life and in his death.
Grief is a process and it requires love, patience and understanding. Moving forward does not in anyway diminish your love and respect for your loved one. It is something you take with you, honouring their life and the things you loved most about them. It is now my absolute passion to help you, through grief and loss coaching, find your new way, build a life around your grief in which you can flourish, and fall in love with life again.
When we lose someone we love not only do we have the primary loss, but there are also the secondary losses that come as a result of the primary loss.
For example, the loss of a future you thought you’d have, your home and connection to other family and friends. Also, income, a family unit, holidays, intimacy, identity, hopes and dreams, security, a support system, purpose and self confidence. Life changing events affect all areas of our lives, including our sense of self. This can feel incredibly overwhelming and impossible to overcome.
Our life experiences shape us, they have a profound impact on the people we become. You don’t forget these experiences, or the people that you have shared your life with. It will change you, you will grow through it and it will take you somewhere you didn’t know existed. You are filled with something strong and amazing and life changing events like this force you to find it.
Through grief and loss coaching you will learn how to move through grief and take it with you, peacefully. In reality, we don’t want our loss to fade, because we loved that person too much. But we don’t have to carry it so heavily.
So, to help you on your healing journey and to overcome some of the challenges you face, I want to share the five top things that helped me re-build, re-discover, re-focus and move forward to a life I love.
THE FIVE AREAS THAT ARE IMPERATIVE TO YOUR JOURNEY THAT I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT ARE:
I will talk about each area, why it’s important, and give you some actionable steps that you can put into place right now to help you move forward.
I wanted to avoid overwhelming you so I have separated each area and created a five day mini series. You can register for ‘The Five Foundations To Creating A Vibrant Life After Loss’ through my home page. You will receive the first of five e-mails once you have signed up with your e-mail address, and then you will receive an email everyday for five days, each with a video discussing the importance of each foundation.
Until then, sending you my best wishes,
Finally, remember that anything you decide to do or not do does not in any way diminish your love for your loved one. Do what you need to do for you and your children (if you have them.) Trust your instincts and don’t worry about what you think you ‘should’ be doing. There is no should!
I hope you’ve found this article helpful. I know these strategies really helped me survive the holidays after losing a loved one. However, if you need any more help or support this Christmas, please get in contact with me via my holding page.
As one of the UK’s first bereavement coaches, I help people to move forward, to achieve the lives they deserve. I’ve been where you are now, and together, we can work through the pain to create a life that’s truly beautiful.